At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
