just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
