it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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