Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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