I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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