Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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