Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
