how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
