he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
