ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize