No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My pussy is not your playground.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
