Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
