He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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