Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize