so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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