the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
