i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
