i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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