It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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