he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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