I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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