dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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