note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
