if i can run in heels then i can drive
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize