He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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