In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
