this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
