next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Randomize
