herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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