I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
