saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize