Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
