Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
