I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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