Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
