you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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