So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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