He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
