Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There r osticjed everywhere
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
