In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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