dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
