It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize