I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
