Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize