My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize