Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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