He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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