Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
