hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
me + whiskey = a bad person
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
