I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
