if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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