Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you win again, gameday.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
