My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
