If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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