everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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