i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
