Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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