I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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