Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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