I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
