It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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