He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
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