She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
time to smoke my breakfast
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
