he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Randomize
