shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Found the puke drawer
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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